{"id":1251,"date":"2018-11-16T23:14:35","date_gmt":"2018-11-17T06:14:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/winter-publishing.com\/welcome-to-winter\/?p=1251"},"modified":"2018-10-20T00:09:39","modified_gmt":"2018-10-20T06:09:39","slug":"perfecthusband","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/winter-publishing.com\/welcome-to-winter\/2018\/11\/16\/perfecthusband\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Love the Perfect Husband"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Coffee with a splash of milk is the only way to drink it.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\">It works better if you\u2019re lactose intolerant.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\">\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Bonus points if your<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\">stomach can\u2019t handle<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\">coffee.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s comforting at first.<\/p>\n<p>Warm, delicious.<\/p>\n<p>Everything is normal.<\/p>\n<p>You have no suspicions.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>It takes some time for the initial wave of pain to set in.<\/p>\n<p>You laugh it off, tell yourself that it\u2019s<\/p>\n<p>nothing. After all, who\u2019s allergic to coffee?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>It feels like you\u2019ve swallowed a bag diamonds,<\/p>\n<p>just the right size,<\/p>\n<p>just the right look,<\/p>\n<p>just for you.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">You tell yourself the initial taste was worth it.<\/p>\n<p>So you take another sip.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The reaction is<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 worse.<\/p>\n<p>You are cold coffee<\/p>\n<p>Spit onto the ground<\/p>\n<p>Discarded<\/p>\n<p>Thrown away<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Covered with molded fruit and rancid meat.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">You want to gag.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">But the taste was worth it<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\">The taste was worth it, right?<\/p>\n<p>Tell me the taste was worth it \u2013<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Coffee with a splash of milk is the only way to drink it. It works better if you\u2019re lactose intolerant. \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Bonus points if your stomach can\u2019t handle coffee. &nbsp; It\u2019s comforting at first. Warm, delicious. Everything is normal. You have no suspicions. &nbsp; It takes some time for&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":[]},"categories":[412],"tags":[158,413,414,157,12,416,415,201,335,334,114,97],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p27tjX-kb","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/winter-publishing.com\/welcome-to-winter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1251"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/winter-publishing.com\/welcome-to-winter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/winter-publishing.com\/welcome-to-winter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/winter-publishing.com\/welcome-to-winter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/winter-publishing.com\/welcome-to-winter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1251"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/winter-publishing.com\/welcome-to-winter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1251\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1252,"href":"https:\/\/winter-publishing.com\/welcome-to-winter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1251\/revisions\/1252"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/winter-publishing.com\/welcome-to-winter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1251"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/winter-publishing.com\/welcome-to-winter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1251"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/winter-publishing.com\/welcome-to-winter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1251"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}